I’m feeling peculiar. For me that isn’t uncommon, but tonight is very strange. Actually most of the day. I feel like there’s adrenaline coursing through me at a constant rate. I’ve not done anything exciting, or been bungi jumping or anything crazy and the exercise has been gentle so I don’t know what’s going on with me.
I’ve not slept properly in a few days, unable to sleep during the day and got getting a lot during the night. Tonight I was falling asleep at my desk watching Nightmare on Elm Street 3, my God I love the nostalgia, but I can’t. I am twitchy, my head’s wobbling it’s pure adrenaline and for no reason. Thankfully I am supposed to be talking to a GP tomorrow. I hope they ring early.
Earlier during a call to my Mum my vision started to go. I assume that was a migraine, but I’ve been getting headaches as well and there’s nothing I can do. Of course you can lie down and try to sleep and I’m tempted to drink a coke to treat myself, though obviously probably not wise given its caffeine, but all I can do is sit and jitter.
There’s always a level of this adrenaline I think. Maybe it’s in the kidneys? Maybe it’s just pure anxiety. I’ve not eaten although the hunger is kicking in now which is good although it’s a bit late to be eating. I don’t know what to do really. Well I do, most people would tell me to shut up and go to sleep. I think I might be calming down a little bit now, or it might. I’ve been getting the odd twinge where my kidneys are which marries up with adrenaline, but maybe it’s all in my mind. I don’t know.
The potential anxiety is that I’ve just had a test result giving me an LP(a), a type of cholesterol of 198 mole things. It should be about 75, well it should be below 75. The world doesn’t seem to understand much about this type of cholesterol and I have read that statins don’t help and I am scared. My Dad died of cholesterol and if they can lower LP(a) they haven’t dished out the medication yet. So I guess I should have my own, right? I don’t know if I’m a walking time bomb. I do know that for some reason all of this adrenaline is making me very emotional and probably the tiredness is too, but I can’t sleep I don’t think. I will try shortly.
I will try now. I think my body might be calming down. It’s like someone’s switched off a tap to the adrenaline…