Morning ramble time. Yes it’s self-indulgent and I’m a crazy person and I shouldn’t share anything really. I don’t talk so much so typing…typing is my brain’s chance to spit out thoughts and honestly I don’t feel like I have a whole lot of control over it. Of course, if one believes in free will, then I am deciding to get my fingers to the keyboard and there are no Evil Dead scenes where my hands are attacking me, but to a point I am not in control. I never have been. I don’t have a clue what I’m going to say when I open my mouth, nor when my fingers hit the keyboard. Programming is getting more like that, I think, which could be a good thing. Actually there have so often been times where I cannot explain how I did something. SQL sticks out somehow, someone will ask me my methods and I don’t know! I just made it happen. Not good in some ways but I do like the idea of programming being more like human thought, or lack thereof, being put into communication such as speech because my mind is usually pretty blank as I talk. Is that awful? It is what it is.

I’ve not had more moments of clarity, but I was tired and hot today yet have still got through five and a bit modules of my React course. I’m enjoying it too. I know it’s a waste of a Saturday but I need money and there’s money in React. Plus I was talked to by a recruiter last week about a potential contract using React which would be very lucrative indeed so I want it! I doubt I’ll get it, I never get the jobs, but it doesn’t start until the end of this month so, although I’d forgotten about it until now, I set myself a goal of learning React, meaning finishing and understanding the course I’m doing, and building something to stick on my website to show I know stuff.

The website is up but unfinished and I’m quite pleased with it. There are issues with colour and lacking content and text that’s needing changing completely but as a sketch it’s not bad. I want to get an SSL certificate too, to look more professional, but you have to pay about a hundred quid for the privilege! I don’t understand what a certificate is really but I don’t understand why Godaddy or whoever else can’t just do that for nothing. “You won’t be secure unless you pay us more!” In any other situation you’d tell them to get fucked, but I suppose that’s why they do it in this situation, or am I wrong and missing something due to my ignorance about these things? I want a little lock icon on my site! That and without it people can use tools to interrogate any HTTP requests that are sent. Oh well, fuck SSL for now, I just need to get it looking nicer and yes it does look like shit on mobile.

Talking of websites, just to bore the shit out of you if you’ve made it this far, I want to make a fun one just for the one that is my name dot com. Photographs, artwork and maybe even reviews as well as a blog on life itself rather than technologies. I have ideas. I talk the talk, I even walk the walk in terms of learning. Am I a slow-learner? Is that why I’ve been left behind? I think so. But I also find I generally know more because of it I think. I might lack in general knowledge but if I study it, I’d like to think I’d beat you at a test.

I did get some…suddenly I’m talking in my head like Ronnie Corbet as he’s talking to the audience on The Two Ronnies…good news today. I keep having interviews and I don’t get anywhere. That said I have to keep trying. I heard today that I’ve been shortlisted for a role in iOS development in Bristol. I would love to specialise in that. Just one thing rather than having too many tools in one box. If that’s an analogy that works. Do I mean an analogy. I’ll look it up. Apparently I do. At times I’d have called that a metaphor. Perhaps it’s both.

I’m also thinking about Bournemouth. The biggest obstacles are a) I’ve never been to the place, how the hell can I just choose to move there and b) I can’t afford a deposit even if I landed a job offer. That said someone has said that they would share a place with me and it was their idea I moved there in the first place so I’m tempted. I’ve no attachment to anywhere in the world besides Upminster and that’s only because it was a time when more of my relatives were alive. Still. That’s no small thing but irrelevant.

My plan is to get a list of potential jobs to apply for in Bournemouth and to stare at the list and think about how it makes me feel. I can afford to get there for an interview. If the deposit on a flat turns out to be too hard to find, then so be it. By which I mean if I can’t borrow it. It looks nice for using a bicycle there. The only other thing is…what if the place is full of twats? Research required and I want to live close to the beach.

The next step with the website is to get the homepage sorted on a desktop screen. Adding some funky business if you will and getting the text to a point where I actually like it. Then I’ll get it responsive. One thing I do like and yet don’t like is the new logo because it’s just text and it’s in an overused font, but it’s still pretty to me. Also the portfolio of work is kind of plain looking, but it just feels cleaner. In many ways I’m less interested in web programming than I am in graphics programming.

I am lacking money. I did consider clinical trials but apparently there is a percentage of people who die during those that you never hear about so it didn’t sound like a great idea after that. Otherwise I’d be quite up for testing things that get you high without having to actually pay them.

I’ll know when I’ve arrived when I’ve started growing my bonsai tree seeds. I’ve had those since Christmas and haven’t been able to plant them because I don’t know where I’ll be.

I think I’ve said everything. I’m going to go and study react some more. Once that’s finished and I’m with my personal project in it I will move on to something else. I still have an app to do on Android…and that radio station app. Possibly another app from a friend…I need an app for my portfolio anyway.

I’m boring myself. I’ll try and say something more profound next time for both our sakes.

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